I am a Stay At Home Mom. That has been my job. I have loved it and have prided myself on being pretty good at it. I have taken the role seriously and have had a great partner to help me do it. I am thankful that I have been able to stay home with my boys.
Yesterday was not a good day. I have a senior and we found out that we will not be having a traditional graduation ceremony based off the recommendations from our state. It was yet another heart break for this mama. You see, I have been waiting for graduation. It was going to be magnificent. All the award ceremonies and pomp and circumstance of senior year. Finally, I could host the party celebrating my son and all the hard work that has gone on these last 13 years. I know all parents want this for their kids, but I think this SAHM wanted it for herself too. You see, I don’t get too many awards or accolades for my job. My husband gets them all the time. Don’t get me wrong my family thanks me and appreciates me but graduation was going to be my icing on the cake and closure for a mom job well done. It was going to be the send off to adulthood.
Now that is going to look different. I am sad about that. I am sad that I didn’t get to have the Mother/Son dance, sad he had his 18th birthday at home and not at the casino which is a right of passage, sad I don’t get to watch him be the captain of his golf team this spring, sad I don’t have to reprimand him for coming home late because he was out with his friends who are all great kids. I am sad that our country has made this pandemic which started off as a safety issue into a political issue which has made me question why my son and his classmates are missing out on their spring. I know we need to keep people safe but yesterday my heart was broken yet again so it was a bad day.
But, I am a mama and today I get up knowing that I will choose to focus on the positive. I will pivot and make these upcoming celebrations and milestones memorable for my son even if they don’t look how I envisioned it in my head. I will exercise, I will go celebrate the birthday of a dear friend in a car parade and I will cook dinner because that is what mamas do.
How cute is this flower arrangement I received from my friend today? The girl has breast cancer and I accompanied her to her chemo treatment and this was my thank you. She not only is my badass friend who is kicking cancer in the #ss, she is also one of the most thoughtful gift givers I know. The company the flowers are from is Farmgirl Flowers. Go check them out at 
Last night my younger son had his final band concert of middle school. He will be going to high school in the fall. My older son met us there because he was just getting back from a golf match. Yes, he is driving! The past couple of weeks, I have had these moments of pause because life rolls along and all of a sudden it happens, you have a son who drives and a family who is growing and thriving but you panic a little because you hope you are savoring the moment. Motherhood is full of surprising things, but what has stopped me in my tracks as of late has been my awe of what enjoyable young men we are raising. After the concert we went to dinner as a family. The boys drove in one car and Gary and I in the other. The meal was delicious but most importantly we pressed paused for a moment to enjoy and savor our life as a family that is growing up and changing. While I will spend time this Mother’s Day weekend at a baseball tournament, I hope to press pause at least a few times and savor this life of being a mama to my two boys who still know how to press all my buttons but who most importantly are becoming great human beings!
RealRenee 